THE OP !!!!

Ok now I know this support group meant to make everyone feel better and so on but listen I cant sugar coat surgery , the good things I can say that it was quick and they say its pretty low risk.

My biggest fear as i left home on the morning of the 10/06/2010 was that i was never gonna see my child again and that he was gonna grow up without a mother , but as ive spoken to many other moms who have done this procedure I think thats the main fear.

I woke up from the surgery screaming help me lol a little melodramatic, the surgeon asked what's the matter and my answer was I don't know just help me.

after sleeping for most of the day and seeing different members of my friends and family faces wave at me and me totally unable to keep my eyes open, visiting hour was finished and everyone went home lol seems like my stomach was waiting for the audience to leave, because I started vomiting now.

Im not talking a little spit up im talking exorcist black vomit flying across the the ward onto my bed ,floor and clothes.

honestly I think that was the worse part of the whole thing and no im on a liquid diet that's easy because im actually not hungry , dose that mean the surgery worked ???????? well who know watch this space

2 weeks post op 257lbs today 231lbs total loss 26 lbs in 2 weeks and 4 days yeyness!!!!

THE MACHINE WITH THE NUMBERS aka the damn scales

OK people yesterday I lost my brain every time I stepped on the scales. Now I am not Albert Einstein but as far as I understand, eating= calories , calories=energy not using all that energy= miss fatty boom boom aka me lol so why the hell was I starving and putting on weight.

I had been eating soups and yoghurt for a total of 5 days and my weight had not shifted even 1 lbs, I think I went on and off the scales 20 times hoping one time it would go down.

After bursting into tears and weighing myself and posting a status on the sleeve fb page and weighing myself and calling my mom and weighing myself I decided to chill as everyone told me not to stress.

I woke up this morning and ran and jumped on the scales and hallelujah praise the lord I had lost 7lbs.

I decided to ban myself from the scales after today as I cant really handle the stress it causes, and stress + hunger don't work well so I asked my hubby to hide them lol, but watch this space by the end of the week ill probably hold our son as ransom and bribe my hubby to give them back to me .

THE DIET

After returning from the BIG APPLE aka THE CITY OF FOOD aka NYC on 28/05 I had to jump straight in my pre op diet .

The diet is gross 4 Muller light yoghurt 4 weight watchers soups and 1 pint of milk daily.

a very jet-lagged me drove to the supermarket and bought 50 cans of soup and 50 pots of yoghurt lol i think the person at the checkout thought I was completely nuts!!!

The first day of the diet was smooth sailing i think mainly because I was so tired food was the last thing on my mind lol.

The second day of the diet not so good my belly been talking to me all day by groulling at me and it dose not help that I hate soup , plus to add to my suffering i went to my mom's house who had cooked chicken with rice !

So any who day 2 is over 11 more days to go.

Weight on 28/05/2010 ***253.5 lbs***

THE UNKNOWN

As far as I recall I have always struggled with my weight, as a child i was the chubby one and my mom had to buy me the pants with the bigger waist and shorten them and as a adult I don't remember ever seeing the size 8 and 10s the first outfit I bought myself was a size 16.

After years of dieting in my adult life i started to realise that your will power can only take u so far and I started to seek out other ways to help myself so i visited my doctor and they put me on a drug called xenical ,now im sure many people know this drug and have felt the catastrophic side effects lol .

After 5 years of taking xenical i took myself from 280 lbs to 225lbs and the pills just stopped working it was at this point i seeked advise about the surgery .

I live in the u.k so I was told of a doctor who dose it privately and the cost was £8'000 now i was willing to go into debt to do this but i watched a program that said any one who BMI 40+ qualified to have this op free on NHS ( national health service ) .

Anyway to cut a long story short I managed to get myself placed on a waiting list in 2007 .

As i was going through the motions of the process i fell pregnant , now this was great news for me as i had been trying for a baby for many years but it made my opp get put on hold!

After my amazing son was born in July 2009 i weight 211lbs and felt great happy thinking I wont need the opp any more but boy was i wrong , the weight started to pile back on with avengence and within 7 months i was back up to 264lbs and boy did I feel gross so i decided to go ahead with in and hear I am 12 days to go till the big day x